Conversations with Two Year Olds

I don’t know how I feel about this whole two year old thing. One minute I absolutely love it and it’s my favorite age and the next I feel like I’m going to strangle them. And everyone says three is worse! But I love this series of posts because it reminds me of all the funny, quirky, wonderful things they say when I’m about ready to collapse from exhaustion or when I feel like my brain is going to explode if I have to break up one more fight.

PS. Momma, I am so sorry for the times I messed with Kathleen just to get her upset. I had no idea what I was doing to you, I really just wanted to piss her off.

while playing Hazel.

Hazel: (as her character) I have to go potty! (moves her toy to my cheek).

Me: Is my face the toilet?

Hazel: Yes!

 

Haley: I need my microphone glass.

 

Haley: Sissy, may I use it?

They say may when they are asking for something. It makes me melt. I love how polite they are.

 

Me: I’m scared.

Hazel: No, you not scared. You brave.

 

Haley: I’m fixing the table. There. All clean.

 

Haley: Is that me again? Oh, I so sorry!

Me: What happened?

Haley: I toot and poop again. I toot and toot and toot!

 

Me: Is it time to get out of the tub?

Haley: No, I just fell a little bit.

Me: Okay, well, five more minutes and then you need to be all done.

Haley: Okay, I just going to relax a little bit.

 

Haley: Bye, snail! Thank you, snail!

 

Me: What are you going to do?

Hazel: I come see you and roar. ROAR!

 

Me: Hazel, that is not listening. That is called being defiant.

Hazel: ROAR!

Me: Exactly. It took all the self control I have not to laugh when she did this.

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Conversations With Two Year Olds

[Our neighbor has about nine pygmy goats. Goats who get out and into our yard at least once a day. They are harmless and runaway if the girls so much as look in their direction.]

Hazel: No, goats! Stop eating mine grass! That ours!

[I hear this all the time. From both girls, but Hazel started it. They want to know the title of every single song they hear, which is great because they can tell me when they want to hear a certain song, but exhausting when they ask it three times in a row for the same song.]

Hazel: What that song is?

 

Haley: Calm down, dear. Tell what’s happened?

 

Haley: Daddy, you funny?

Ken: Yes, I’m funny.

Haley: Haha. You think so.

 

Hazel: Go ‘side right now! One, two, three… [Give you one guess who she’s imitating here.]

Hazel: I can’t find my head, sissy.

Haley: Don’t worry, I find your head! Here’s your head.

 

Hazel: [whenever Ken coughs] Easy, Daddy, easy. I got you.

 

Hazel: Follow me, Daddy.

Ken: Where are we going?

Hazel: Um, I don’t know.

Me: Hazel, say ‘don’t ask silly questions, daddy’.

Hazel: [haltingly] Don’t ask silly questions, Daddy. [with authority] Now, come on!

 

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Random

Just some things that have been running through my head this past week.

• The girls were wearing these outfits on Tuesday and I was falling over dead from the cuteness! They look like little girls! They look like they really are going to be 2 in less than 6 months. I just caught myself staring at them on and off throughout the day, just marveling at the fact that I helped to make these two crazy, smart, independent girls.
• It will be September in 8 days! WHO AM I? I usually hold onto summer so hard, but this year I am restraining myself from buying pumpkin puree and bring out the fall decorations until September.
• College football is starting soon and I have been debating what Duck gear to get for the girls this year. I have looked at jerseys, onesies, and cheerleading dresses for the last month, at least. I finally decided to go on Etsy and see what I could find. I ended up buying this bow for each of the girls. I’m so excited for them to get here! This woman has lots of super cute bows. I’m probably going to go back on to get some Halloween bows too.
• I’ve started doing some browsing for Christmas presents. I know, I know, give each holiday it’s due, but here’s the thing: I hate running around like a maniac trying to get all my shopping done in December. There are so many fun things to do (zoo lights, visit santa, go look at Christmas light, etc) I would rather do all of that then be stuck in mall. Also, I’m not dropping hundreds of dollars at one time, it’s spread out over the course of four months. When I really have my shit together, I am done with my shopping by Halloween. Now that I never have my shit together have children, I’m happy if I’m done in the first week of December. We are building the girls a play kitchen for Christmas, but I’ve been looking at different accessories to go with it.

I’m thinking I’ll make them each a blanket as well and we’re debating getting the girls duplos or megablocks. Is there a difference?

• The girls have started calling each other by name when prompted. I quiz them a couple of times a day just to make sure they know their own name as well as sister’s name. It melts my heart to hear their sweet little voices say “ha-ee” (haley) and “ha-da” (hazel).
• I had to cancel our Citrus Lane subscription the other day and I’m a little heartbroken. If you have a child under three and an extra $25 bucks a month, I recommend it. We got some really fun stuff in the four months we got it. I hope once our money situation becomes a little less tight (think corset!) that I’ll be able to renew our subscription. *this post is not sponsored by Citrus Lane.*
  

  Our goodies from the August box.

• We watched a loooot of Little Einsteins last weekend and, I have to admit, I adore the show. They feature a different blerp of classical music every show as well as a different work of art. The kids go on adventures, but when they are going to a real location (Versailles, a volcano, etc.) the show real footage of the location and just insert the animated characters. The four kids fly around in their rocket and to make the rocket blast off the pat their legs. The show is very interactive with trying to get the kids to pat with them, respond to questions, etc. Anyway, we were in the car the other day and the girls started patting!

So there you have it. These are the random thoughts I’ve had floating through my head. If you have any recommendations of Christmas presents for almost two-year-olds <sob> please let me know!

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