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Let Go

3adf6-blogeverday Day 30, Thursday: React to this term: Letting Go

In the Broadway production of The Little Mermaid, at the very end, just before King Triton turns Ariel human, father and daughter have  moment. Ariel apologizes for, well, basically the entire musical.

“I’ve cause you so much trouble. Can you ever forgive?”

And King Triton replies, “why, I’ve never been prouder. In the blink of an eye, while my back was turned, you grew up.”

And then he begins to sing and my sentimental, foolish soul just about loses it. every. single. time.

If only you could stay and never say good bye,

If only I could make time stop,

Believe me, I would try.

But fathers have to learn,

That daughters have to grow.

And if you truly love them you must let them go.

Ah, god, the feeeeels! Obviously, I think of my own daughters now when I listen to this. Because the letting go started as soon as they were born. Letting go enough to allow them to explore their environment, to listen to their own body signals, allowing them to tell me what they want instead of dictating. And it is so hard for me to do. I’m, clearly, a long, long ways away from Triton’s particular dilemma, but every new freedom they gain or trial they overcome, requires me to let go a little bit. To let them be whoever it is in this world they are going to be. Of course, I can guide and help along the way, but doesn’t part of childhood include parents letting go in small increments along the way?

I took a class once when I was still working in daycare and it was about dealing with different temperaments. The instructor talked about how a secure infant/toddler will go off and explore on their own, but still check to make sure you are there if they need you. I try to raise the girls like that. To be adventurous and brave, but to know that I am here if they need me. That they can always come back to me if they need to rest or need reassurance when something new enters their surroundings. And it is my hope that someday, when they are grown, that will come back to me, not because they need to, but because they want to.

Am I making any sense? This all makes sense in my head, but sentimentality makes me a little obsessive and I think I might be trying too hard to communicate what I’m wanting to say. But I guess that’s what love does to you. It makes you a little crazy.

And, oh, I love you so. If only you could know.

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3adf6-blogeverday

Day 29, Wednesday: Five songs or pieces of music that speak to you.

  1. This song is from the Broadway version of The Little Mermaid. There is so much longing and hoping and wishing in this song. And hasn’t everybody had that thought of “if only you knew”? There’s something about the story that has always spoken to me. Ariel’s enthusiasm and drive about making her dreams come true… and, while, yes, her ultimate goal is boy-related, but I believe she is a character that would have the determination for anything she wanted. She is a role model I would encourage the girls to have. She is warm, loving, brave, determined, independent… who doesn’t wish for their child to turn out like that? Also? Alan Menken is a genius. Just sayin’.
  2. It’s the bridge of this song by Laura Marling that gets me. “Lover please, do not fall to you knees. It’s not like I believe in everlasting love.” Not a sentiment I share, but I get no end of flashes of story ideas when I listen to this song.
  3. Ah. This song, for me, is the epitome of having a crush. The crazy, slightly desperate feeling you have. I can hear it in the accompaniment too.
  4. Regina Spektor’s music kills me. I can’t really explain what it is about this song that I love.
  5. This song from Seussical. It’s one of the few songs that I actually can’t sing along with because I, inevitably, start to cry. It’s another one of those want and desire songs that fills me with such emotion that all I can do is cry.

Since finding the songs was so fun, I thought I would also do five dances that speak to me, but I could only think of 3 that touched me or made me as excited as the songs did, but they are awesome dances.

  1. Sara Bareillis is one of my favorite singers and So You Think You Can Dance is one of my favorite shows. This piece, choreographed by Mia Michaels in magic.
  2. The musicality and timing of this piece by Kate Jablonski is perfection.
  3. Another SYTYCD piece. This makes me wish I had even a little talent with dancing happen. But I don’t.

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ba766-blogeverday Day 28, Tuesday: Only pictures

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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A Letter

3adf6-blogeverday

Day 27, Monday: A letter to your readers

Dear friend,

Don’t you just love spring? There is something so hopeful and happy about spring. And there is so much to love about it. The extra hours of sunlight. The extra skin that starts to peak out from underneath the layers of sweaters and leggings. The birds singing. Being able to spend hours outside, breathing in the flower scented air. Sticky juice running down your hand as you scramble to finish a popsicle before it melts.

The best part about spring, for me this year? Sundresses on my babies. I am obsessed and looking forward to a wonderful summer full of beautiful dresses on beautiful girls.

tumblr_mm6s7hLkQ51qdrf5co1_500There is so much hope and promise wrapped up in this spring. I think this summer is destined to be wonderful and I hope you all are as excited as I am.

 

Love,

Emily

tumblr_mm8um3ANBj1qdrf5co1_500PS. What are your favorite things about spring?

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Take Them Away!

3adf6-blogeverdayDay 26, Sunday: Something you read online.

 

I found this blog post via Pinterest earlier this week and have find of  been obsessed with it ever since.

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I have always been of the opinion that you do not need a ton of gadgets to take care of a baby. There’s so much crap on the market that new parents get bombarded with, advertisers doing everything they can to convince these parents that their child will die/never sleep/cry all the time if they do not purchase said product. We were pretty minimalist with the girls. We had one swing, two bumbos, two boppy pillows, two space saver high chairs and that was it, as far as that type of stuff goes. I swaddled them using muslin blankets, if one was in the swing that meant I was usually rocking the other to sleep. We did the sound machine thing for a while, but it was just a free app on the ipad.  I also have always believed that kids don’t need their own personal toy store in their room.  We don’t have THAT many toys for the girls and there are times when I still feel like they have too much sometimes. I’m not saying this to be all holier-than-thou. I have lots of friends who have all the gadgets and their kids are just as happy and content as my girls. I’m not saying there’s a right way and wrong way. This is just what I feel and believe is right for us.

I think what I enjoyed the most about reading this post was that it wasn’t a mean decision. Yes, there was a catalyst to make her take everything away, but it was something she had thought about and has turned into a positive thing, and a positive experience for her daughters. The headline is a little deceiving if you haven’t read the whole thing. Her daughters still have toys, but they kept the toys that require some imagination. The dress up clothes, the legos, the play kitchen, and play food. And I love it. I love that her daughters are learning from a young age that it is not the stuff that is important, but the people around you.

I have long been feeling that the girls stuffed animal collection is out of control already and this post was the push I needed. A big bag of stuffed animals is going to be making its way to Goodwill before we move. We will keep the loveys and a couple of dolls and a handful of the stuffed animals that were gifts from grandparents.

What do you guys think? Is taking toys away too harsh? Did you cheer Ruth on while reading about boxing up the toys?

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3adf6-blogeverday Day 24, Friday: Your top 3 worst traits

I hate this prompt. It feels like a way of sneaking compliments out of readers. I want y’all to promise that you will NOT try to reassure me or compliment me or do anything to argue against the traits I’m listing. If you can’t promise that then stop reading now and just go look at baby pictures.

  1. I can be very ungracious. It’s awful and one of the things that I dislike the most about myself and, consequentially, it’s the thing I am always striving to change.
  2. I am selfish. I am, and have always been, very reluctant to share my things and share my people. The people I love I want to keep all to myself and not lend out to others. Same with my stuff. Do not mess with my stuff.

God, we’re not done yet? This is awful.

3. I shut down when I am unhappy. It’s is Ken’s number one complaint about me (I would guess). I go through a period when  I need to process whatever is going on before I can get to the part where I’m ready to take about it. I have it on good authority that it can be very frustrating, but it’s how I am.

Phew! In other news, I only have one more week of work! I am super excited to be moving on to the next chapter and to go back to doing what I love best and spending my days with who I love best.

tumblr_mn3q5llUV11qdrf5co1_500Packing is driving me craazay! We’re at that stage where the apartment is a mess. All the time. And there’s nothing I can do about it. And it’s just making me batty. But Puzzle and the girls think it’s awesome! There are so many new places to play.

tumblr_mna45eryjw1qdrf5co1_500

tumblr_mna4q5KQ8C1qdrf5co1_500First time we moved and now. 🙂

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3adf6-blogeverday

I’ve missed two days! But I think anyone who knows me is aware that this is kind of how I am. I set this goal or say ‘I’m going to do blah de blah de blah every day!’ and I start off really strong and then start to loose focus and drive and that’s kind of where I am now. But I am going to try to finish strong! I’m also going to do yesterdays prompt and todays because they both interest me and I already have yesterdays written in my head so why not!

Day 22, Wednesday: Rant about something.

Here is my rant, which a couple of people have heard recently: This country’s set up for maternity leave and stay at home moms sucks! The only way a woman can get paid for maternity leave, in Oregon at least, is to get disability insurance BEFORE she gets pregnant. Because, if you have a child, you are clearly disabled. I mean, what sane person would want to have children? I mean, unless the woman has a killer job where the management is awesome and does some pay for maternity leave. Clearly, that was not the case with me. Yes, we have made the one income thing work before and we will make it work again and the lower income is worth every. single. day I get to spend with my children. And really this anger at how the system is set up is more because I hate having the girls in daycare. I hate that at 15 months old they are forced into the Monday-through-Friday-8:30-to-5:30 grind.  Dear lord, doesn’t that start soon enough? Anyway, that’s my rant. That’s what has been rolling around in my head for the last couple of weeks.

Day 23, Thursday: Things you’ve learned that school won’t teach you

I actually think the things I value most are the things I’ve learned in school. Not necessarily in the classroom, but just from the action of going to school.

  1. Be on time. For everything. Not only is it polite, but it will end up saving you and other people from wasting time waiting around. Everyone is busy. Everyone has a million things going on. If someone is making time for you, please have the courtesy to be on time.
  2. Honor your commitments (I still struggle with this). Follow through with what you will say you will do or on what you have been asked to do.

I have a lot of emphasis right now on raising the girls to be polite. And teaching them now what it means to be polite. Which is forcing me to be a little more aware of when I am, unintentionally, being rude. What do you guys think? What’s the best thing you’ve learned?

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